Dating is a technical job. It's hard to build attraction in a girl's heart if your dating skills are mediocre. If you want to let Meizhi stop talking to you, there must be no awkward atmosphere when dating and chatting. So how to control the dating atmosphere so that the girls feel that this date is very natural and not embarrassing?
The technique of not being embarrassed to date a girl for the first time
1. Focus on accumulation of topics
Chatting is a jumping process, the topic often has a jumping. Therefore, chatting puts forward higher requirements for the accumulation of topics, materials and experience.
According to the school of dance and step, most people often show a lack of material accumulation in the process of chatting, rather than skills. Of course, the importance of chatting skills can only be demonstrated when you have enough inventory in your stomach.
However, the reality is that most people's topics, experience and knowledge are so poor that they can't compete with chat skills at all!
2. Master the thinking mode
From the perspective of gender, thinking mode can be divided into two categories, which have been elaborated in psychology for a long time:
(1) male way of thinking. This kind of thinking mode has the following characteristics: heap up, abstract summary, make evaluation, solve problems, explore motivation, predict the future, establish cause and effect, reasoning summary, defense negation, purpose first, result oriented, taking objective as the standard.
(2) women's way of thinking. Cutting down, specific details, expressing feelings, describing problems, focusing on the past, comparing with the present, listing phenomena, discussing matters on the spot, opening up and affirming, forgetting the purpose, living in the present, and taking self as the standard.
3. Be good at listening and gain recognition
In many cases, people just want to express their feelings in order to seek recognition. Instead of exchanging ideas or expanding ideas. Therefore, we must learn how to listen in order to gain the recognition of each other. However, listening is neither consistent with the person you are talking to nor debating their views.
The essence of listening lies in the penetration of "Empathy" into the situation, feelings and experience of the chat object, so as to guide the other party to continue to express feelings. In other words, it is to be able to think from other people's perspectives, positions and psychological perspectives.
4. Measure what the girl cherishes in her heart
First of all, you should think about what kind of girl this is and measure what she values most in her heart. Girls usually avoid compliments, which are easier to accept if they feel the same way about themselves. Pay attention to why she is proud and praise those things.
5. Think about what she values about you or others
Think back to your previous conversations, find traits she values but doesn't think she has, and praise her. Maybe you notice that she told you that she likes you to strive for what you want, and she is just as diligent. You may have noticed that she said that she would like her body to be like who and who, but you think her body is better. It's important to think about whether she really has the compliment you want. If you tell her what she's good at and she doesn't feel that way, she'll think you're not telling the truth.
6. Praise her achievements
You can also praise her achievements. In this way, she has a certain degree of control, and reflects what kind of person she is. Think about it. Has she tried anything?
Or what has she done that you admire? For example, helping others, or making the right choice under difficult circumstances, praise her. What's important is that the qualities you praise should not be something she might lose or disappear over time. This means that she should not be afraid to lose this trait and be happy to think about your compliment later.
Dating skills are all learned. The most important thing is how to internalize into your own things and make these characteristics become what you subconsciously show. Girls are very sensitive and pay attention to the details. They can easily detect the little details you do for her in the dating.